The Amazing Race recap: 'Good Job, Donkey'

It’s a good thing six strong teams still remain in The Amazing Race, because the next leg of their adventure is going to make them sweat and shout, “Opa!” every few minutes.

That’s right — the teams are headed to Greece! They are going to experience a real-life big, fat Greek wedding with all of the aunts, uncles, and cousins. Some may even experience a U-TURN. (What’s the opposite of “Opa”?)

International driving has never been a strong suit for Liz and Mike. Ironically, they lead a chain of three more cars heading 100 miles away to Arachova, where the Greek nuptials will take place. Matt and Redmond are in the second vehicle, and it doesn’t faze Mike in the slightest when he sees them veer right, followed by Scott and Logan’s cars. Mike is convinced he is going in the correct direction. Liz isn’t so sure and relentlessly begs him to turn around so they can follow the others. He doesn’t.

Scott and Brooke are on The Boys’ bumper. Mike and Liz are slowly heading up a mountain. Team LoLo is currently dealing with a car that won’t go in reverse. Becca and Floyd are driving away from the big bridge they are supposed to be driving toward. Mom and Dad (read: Joey and Tara) are kicking it with wedding guests. How did they get there so fast?

Tara keeps asking the wedding guests for a clue. They all look at her like she’s an idiot for not taking shots of ouzo. Opa! She turns to see Scott and Brooke staring at the huge red and yellow table with the big words U-TURN written on it. Since Michael and Liz have a speed bump, they decide to U-TURN them, too. The parents run up and U-TURN Team Fun, to the dismay of all the other children.

DETOUR: For the Bride or For the Groom
This detour sounds simple. If you choose to deliver a gift for the bride, teams have to take a donkey carrying two tins of milk, find the little old lady somewhere in town, and exchange the milk for some cheese. If you choose to deliver a gift for the groom, teams have to race up a steep staircase (252 steps), find a shepherd, and deliver some goats to the groom.

All four teams in the running choose to deliver gifts to the bride, while Mike, Liz, and Team Fun experience an unwelcome scenic drive of Greece.

Joey and Tara are still in the lead. They swap milk for cheese like nobody’s business. The two head back to the wedding venue, present their cheese, and smash a plate with a celebratory, “Opa!” Tara spies a clue on the ground that was hidden in the plate. Opa indeed!

Next up? Teams must drive themselves to the Panathenaic Stadium in Athens. That is, of course, after you’ve collected cheese. Or found your way to the wedding in the first place. Details.

Joey and Tara are the first to take a victory lap around the ancient stadium before making their way to the Zappeion, where they will find their next clue. They are followed by Brooke and Scott (newsflash: Brooke hates running), as well as The Boys. Scott feels that slow and steady wins the race. He changes his tune when Matt and Redmond pass them up on the track.

Meanwhile, our directionally challenged teams finally find the wedding and are both shocked to see that they are the teams who have been U-TURNED. Becca and Floyd take it all in stride, vowing that they will have fun handling their donkey (Speedy McSpeederson) no matter what. Mike and Liz grumble and complain as they collect their cheese. Mike is ticked that he helped Brooke build a ladle back in the day and she promised him she would never U-TURN his team. Don’t believe him? Watch the B-roll footage. Shame, shame.

Liz and Mike receive a bit of good news when they run into Team Fun pushing a stubborn donkey. They aren’t out of the race! They joyfully deliver their cheese and head to the groom’s challenge. The idea of running up 252 steps makes my knees hurt. I can’t imagine how Mike feels. Liz encourages him the entire way as their Grecian guide holds her hand up the steps. #Opa

When they make it to the top, a shepherd places a goat around Liz’s shoulders. They ramble back down the stairs and present the goat to the groom, who immediately inquires as to the whereabouts of the second goat.

Come again?

Mike didn’t read the clue clearly. He was supposed to carry a goat too. He’s definitely going to have buns of steel after climbing those stairs — again. Guess who else is tackling the stairs? Team Fun.

ROAD BLOCK: Step in Time
It’s changing-of-the-guard time in front of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Teams must learn unique, complicated choreography in order to move on. This is when Tara’s military training comes in handy. She learns the steps quickly, masters them on her second try, and is rewarded with a final clue.

Matt and Brooke (who has to pee) are in second and third places. Both are having trouble figuring out the steps, but it’s Brooke who gets it right before Matt. They are officially in second place, with The Boys not far behind. For the record, LoLo is way behind. And the forgetful ones are way, way far behind.

PIT STOP
Joey and Tara make it to the Acropolis first and are rewarded with cold hard cash. Brooke and Scott get lost coming out of the last challenge and are once again passed up by Matt and Redmond.

Becca and Floyd smash their plates and jump on the next clue, while Liz and Mike execute their SPEED BUMP. Clearly this challenge was made for Mike. He has to wrap a bunch of intestines around skewered meats. He’s in heaven. Liz and I want to throw up.

Mike dominates the SPEED BUMP and heads to the soldier challenge right as Becca attempts her second try at mastering the choreography. But Liz narrows the gap by nailing the military challenge on her first try. It’s now a race to Phil.

RANKINGS:
1. Tara and Joey — The parents now have a major target on their backs.

2. Redmond and Matt — The Boys seemed disappointed that they came in second place.

3. Brooke and Scott — Scott may have found a Grecian pen pal, thanks to the handsome “Welcome to Athens” representative standing next to Phil.

4. Logan and London — The clear dark horse.

5. Becca and Floyd — Although they almost lost today, they do feel humbled to have made it through a tough leg. I’d also like to point out that they still wear their Italian gondola hats.

6. Mike and Liz — It’s the third time they’ve come in last place, yet this leg, they are going home.

We are getting down to the wire. Who are the strong teams? Do you think Scott and Brooke have found a rhythm? Is Team LoLo flying under the radar on purpose? Or is it like The Bachelor where producers edit footage because they don’t want the audience to know that London and Logan are dating? Wishful thinking or possibility?