No more sad songs
For me and for many other people, music is an outlet. It’s a way to escape from reality and exist in a completely different story. It’s a way to zone out or vibe in whatever mood you’re in. It truly represents a huge part of many people’s personalities.
But does that mean if you listen to sad songs you’re depressed?
This seems like a silly question but it was a question that a young 10 year old girl i teach, asked me the other week.
She tried to summarise why she asked the question. She said that a lot of the time she would go home and listen to sad songs, singing along regardless of whether she related to the lyrics in real life. She would take on the emotion of the song and enjoy it. But this confused her. Why do i like listening to sad songs? Does this mean i’m sad?
It’s not unknown that music can have a huge impact on how we feel. We have all been in a situation where music has quickly changed our moods. Whether it was you not wanting to work out and then putting on a fast-paced, upbeat song that has then encouraged you to move or whether you just weren’t feeling like going out and then your go to dance song pops on and you’re ready for the club. So if music can have a direct impact on changing mood does it also represent the mood we felt in the first place?
So why do some people gravitate towards sad songs and does it represent how we truly feel inside?
The answer to this question isn’t super straight forward but in short, the music we listen to doesn’t always truly reflect how we really feel inside but how we want to feel inside. Now i know what you’re thinking. Why would anyone want to feel sad inside? We all crave a balance of emotions in our life. If someone was happy all the time, they wouldn’t know what happy is. Emotions are defined by other emotions existing. Music allows us to engage in a balance of emotions without having something to be sad or happy about and therefore live through the stories of others.
On another note, many sad songs are reflective and allow the listener to learn from the story whether they experienced it or not. Think back to when you were at school and you broke up with your first love. Later on that day you would be busting out the latest break-up song to get you through it, screaming the lyrics with a whole heart of emotion. But there were also other people who hadn’t gone through that break-up singing exactly the same song but learning from it.
I used to get so caught up with feeling like i was constantly listening to sad ballads but it’s what i enjoyed listening to. It was story telling at it’s finest. It was something that showed me the balance of sad and happy times and that also it’s ok to be sad or down because it was represented through song so much. It makes you feel like it’s normal — whether you feel that emotion or not.
Think of it like this:
Imagine if it was a book. Would someone think you were depressed if you always read dramatic, emotional novels? No. Music is the same concept.
So what i say to you and that young 10 year old girl i teach:
- Listening to sad music doesn’t mean you’re depressed.
- The music you listen to doesn’t always represent how you feel. It’s ok to belt out the lyrics of a song you have yet to relate to. It’s learning, it’s escaping. So listen to the music you feel like listening to.
- Music can change your mood drastically so if you are feeling down, then pop on some upbeat music and see if it makes a difference.
- Listening to sad songs allows you to have a balance of emotions and be reflective when you need to.
- Sad songs show that sadness is not an emotion to be afraid of and it’s normal to feel that way sometimes.
Music is the art of storytelling and you can listen to any story you want, at any time in your life. On repeat if you want to. So repeat that sad ballad. Scream it from the rooftops. I’ll be doing the same, and i’ll be happy doing it.
With love,
Laura x
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